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Radka T.
January 28, 2018, 7:15pm
Reading time: 2:44

You Know When Someone Cuts You off and Then Texts Out of the Blue As If Nothing Happened? This Phenomenon is Called Zombing.

Zombing sometimes follows ghosting, which is when a promising or an actual dating partner disappears out of nowhere and stops talking to you altogether.

Radka T.
January 28, 2018, 7:15pm
Reading time: 2:44
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You Know When Someone Cuts You off and Then Texts Out of the Blue As If Nothing Happened? This Phenomenon is Called Zombing.
Zdroj: Pexels

If a person stops keeping in touch with others for various reasons (certainly well known to him anyway), it is strange or disturbing to say the least, but it's one of those things that happen during dating. Therefore, it is utterly surprising that after successfully ignoring your messages for several months, the prospect rises from the dead and makes attempt to get back in touch. Of course, this situation has already received its "terminus technicus" thanks to the young generation and the dictionary of internet dating. Such behavior is called zombing.

 

It can often be preceded by ghosting. This term is used when someone you date (which also could be a legit partner), simply stops calling / texting and "evaporates" from the Earth's surface. And you can text and call as much as you want, it will be "left on seen". "When something doesn't work out, gets uncomfortable, demanding, or threatening, there's nothing easier than just to stop calling and play dead," explained Veronika Vinterová from the Czech dating agency for the iDNES.cz portal. To some people, it may seem easier to not solve the situation than to explain or try to find compromise.

 

Ozve sa vtedy, keď to vôbec nečakáš a ako by sa nič nestalo. Zombing je fenomén, pri ktorom si musíš zachovať chladnú hlavu
Zdroj: Pexels

 

And just when you make peace with them not being interested, that they simply disappeared and are probably building a new life for themselves, the person suddenly pops up and stirs up your emotions. Potentially even sparks hope. Simply put, it's as if they climbed out of a grave, hence the apt term zombing. However, it does not always have to follow the above-mentioned ghosting. It can also appear in classic broken relationships, which experienced a proper breakup, without the partner going silent, hiding and ignoring messages.

 

 

No breakup is ever easy. It depends a lot on the intensity and length of the relationship, and likely also on how the partners are able to deal with another life failure. However, after the breakup, you definitely don't need to be down. The chance that you'll find someone better, who will respect you and really love you, is highly probable. Although it may take some time. That's another reason why the "healed" people get irritated when their ex calls / texts out of the blue or at the most inappropriate moment.

 

Ozve sa vtedy, keď to vôbec nečakáš a ako by sa nič nestalo. Zombing je fenomén, pri ktorom si musíš zachovať chladnú hlavu
Zdroj: Pexels

As they say, time really does cure everything, and the same is true in the case of break-ups. That's why many choose not to contact their former lovers, unless it is really necessary. To avoid busting old wounds open, or looking back to the past, and instead go forward. And just at that very moment when you think you're healed, they'll call. Zombing manifests when the ex begins to call just when you're finally ready for a new relationship and have successfully moved on. This may be followed by more or less innocent questions about how you're doing, or even blame that it was you who destroyed the relationship. And as usual - although you may not be particularly interested, their "resurrection" still leaves you shook.

 

Ozve sa vtedy, keď to vôbec nečakáš a ako by sa nič nestalo. Zombing je fenomén, pri ktorom si musíš zachovať chladnú hlavu
Zdroj: Pixabay

 At a time when social networks are expanding, the number of "zombies" is expected to increase. After all, who isn't tempted to check on Facebook or Instagram how their former partner or lover is doing? Often, it doesn't just end there, the liking or commenting on statuses and photos starts, even if the other party doesn't care at first. From there, it's only a short distance to write the first message after all this time. As if the goal of the "zombies" was to raise doubts, cause confusion, or break your heart again.

 

 

 

According to the Huffington Post, it is not possible to say exactly why the ex's do this. Maybe they just want to play around with our emotions a little bit and maybe they actually really miss the love and want it back. The answer to the "what to do" question can't be quite universal. Coach Francesca Hogi recommends asking oneself a question - was this relationship one that I would want to re-live? If it was dysfunctional the first time around, chances are it will be again. Therefore, asking for answers and explanation of why the "zombie" actually does this and what he is really after is totally appropriate. And then it's up to you whether you give them a second chance, whether you work things out, remain only friends, or you'll be the one to evaporate like a ghost this time around. All with clear conscience though.

 

Ozve sa vtedy, keď to vôbec nečakáš a ako by sa nič nestalo. Zombing je fenomén, pri ktorom si musíš zachovať chladnú hlavu
Zdroj: Pexels
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